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When Living Overseas is Difficult

Writer's picture: Sarah PeacheySarah Peachey

I always say that it's worth taking a shot on an OCONUS PCS. Living overseas in a new place can be exciting with plenty of things to see and do.


But it can also feel isolated, scary, and too new for comfort.


I spent three years overseas in Germany, living in a very small German village, so I feel I have a little bit of perspective on this. I didn't live on post. I was in a set of six row homes, all of whom were Americans, but we were surrounded by Germans.


It. Was. Hard.


The first few months were overwhelming, with a sort of sensory overload.


The sights were totally new: steeples popping above all the other buildings in the villages, the castles atop the hills, the rolling farmland, the shepherd herding his sheep and goats.

The sounds were new: the German language filtering in from outside, the rowdy patrons' voices echoing from the gasthausacross the street, the church bells pealing throughout the day.


The tastes were new: The sweet pastries and yeasty breads from the backereidown the street, the metzgerei's assortment of salty meats and creamy cheeses, the crispy schnitzel at restaurants.


The textures were new: The uneven cobblestones on the streets, the brick in-lay courtyard outside my front door.


The one familiar sense was the smell: It was just like the farm town I grew up in.


Despite that one familiar farmland detail, I'm not kidding when I say it took me months to feel somewhat comfortable, where I could go to a restaurant, the drink market, or the grocery store and not have to take deep breaths to convince myself I could do it. Where I wasn't sitting in the car convincing myself it wasn't a big deal. Where I wasn't begging my husband to be the one to place the order or answer the door because I was discouraged that I couldn't communicate clearly.


I tried to learn German, but I struggled. Learning a second language is hard enough, but I found German was much harder than learning French, which I've been passable in for years.

I went from feeling so independent while stateside, taking my kids anywhere without a worry, to moving overseas and not wanting to go anywhere alone. What if something happened and I couldn't tell someone what I needed?


But aside from the newness of it all, it was difficult being so far away from the people we loved.


Read more at armywifenetwork.com.

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