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Milspouse growth and blooming during a season of dormancy

Writer's picture: Sarah PeacheySarah Peachey

“Bloom where you’re planted.”

 

It’s a saying that moves through the milspouse community, the idea that you should make the most of every place you live, that you put down roots and make every location home.

 

I love that the milspouse community always takes a positive spin on the opportunities this lifestyle presents; however, in doing so, we sometimes overlook just how hard things can be when you aren’t blooming and you don’t feel like you’re anywhere close to being planted.

 

That’s where I’ve often found myself over the past 2.5 years.

 

Milspouse Sarah Peachey, in a black hat and sunglasses, kneels beside a pot of red petunias.
"Grow where your planted" is often quoted in milspouse life, but it doesn't account for seasons of dormancy.

To say I won’t miss 2022 or 2023 is an understatement. During that time, I hit some of my lowest points. I lost my only grandfather, had to say goodbye to my dog of thirteen years, endured two deployments, experienced chronic pain that nothing could dull, struggled to make my health insurance work for my needs, and discovered I had anxiety and depression.

 

Instantly, I asked, “Am I doing enough? Do I need to get out more?” And the more I tried to get out and do things, the more I wanted to do the opposite. I wasn’t growing, and I certainly wasn’t blooming. The sun still called to me, but I couldn’t respond.

 

Years ago, I heard someone say “life has seasons.” And during my struggles the past two years, I realized military life has those same seasons.

 

Sometimes we’re in periods of growing. We’re learning new things. We’re enmeshing ourselves in this new community, getting to know our neighbors, identifying the showy roses, the hardy coneflowers and peonies, the quiet yet beautiful lavender. Each of us are holding steady during the storms. We’re getting our hands dirty and loving every minute of it.

 

And usually, that launches us into blooming, and the brightest parts of ourselves are on view. We’re basking in the blue sky as we stand tall. We’re in partnerships that are working. We’re balancing our obligations without overtaxing ourselves. We’re sharing our space with the honey bees and butterflies. The growing has paid off, and now we can enjoy it. We can fully share ourselves and all we have to offer.

 

But in that growing cycle, there’s also dormancy, the fall and winter of life. Challenges threaten us, and we slowly shrivel. We’re less intent to go out, because we’re still trying to make it where we’re planted—we wantto make it. But something isn’t serving us enough, and dormancy is the only way to get through it.

 

And it’s safe under that soil anyway, right? We can protect the most vital parts of ourselves, the things that ensure our survival, while all the noise above us is kept at bay.

 

Some people might consider it hiding, but we aren’t.

 

Our roots are strong, and we’ve woven them with those of our friends in our community. We’re holding steady through the threatening frosts and harsh winters, but spring is on its way. Soon enough, we’ll be pushing green fingers through the soil, as we burst back into the warmth of the sun. We’ll stretch ourselves and take that first deep breath, and we’ll find our place in the new bed among the daffodils and crocuses, the hydrangea and the black-eyed Susans.

 

If you’re in a season of dormancy, hold steady, dear milspouse. The thaw is on the way, and we’ll move back into the growing phase soon enough. We’re already holding our people close, the ones who make the journey worthwhile, who help us bend in the wind but not break. We’ll bloom with our heads held high, our faces toward the sun. The shadows, once hidden in the soil with us, will again fall behind us.

 

We will again be bold, and shine brightly in seas of color.


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hello
Oct 15, 2024

Beautiful. Have you read the book “Wintering” by Katherine May? It talks about those tough seasons and what they mean for us. Highly recommend.

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