If you’ve been a military spouse for a few years, you’ve probably heard about Strong Bonds retreats offered by your installation’s Religious Services Organization. If you’re newer to the milspouse life, then this may be new for you. No matter how long you’ve been married to your service member, if you can attend a Strong Bonds retreat, I highly recommend it.

My husband and I attended our first Strong Bonds retreat in August. It was such a great experience for us. We both went into the retreat hoping we could learn something, despite not having any glaring issues in our relationship.
But we did learn how to connect better.
We learned about our Love Languages (we both scored high in physical touch, followed by quality time), as well as how to handle tensions during disagreements. The hardest part was taking a 100 question quiz on the ins and outs of our relationship. Questions about our favorite books and movies, our hopes and dreams, our fears and dislikes.
I can’t say we got them all right, but it provided tons of discussion material on our date night. Things we might not have discussed otherwise. On the drive home, I can honestly say I felt a bit lighter. Taking the time to reconnect truly opened us up to each other and helped us get closer.
What is a Strong Bonds retreat?
The retreats are sponsored by your installation’s Religious Services Organization with a brief curriculum organized by your installation’s chaplains. They usually take place at a nice hotel near your installation. The course materials, classes, hotel stay, and child care are all covered for you!
The Army has its reasons for supplementing the cost. The first retreat was held in 1999 in Hawaii and, over the years, has spread throughout the Army. A five-year study showed that these retreats resulted in a fifty percent lower divorce rate and an increase in marital satisfaction for participants. You can read more about Strong Bonds’ goals here.
Here are reasons you should give it a try:
You’ll learn how to work better together in your marriage
No matter how long you’ve been married, I guarantee there are some things you could probably be doing better. A Strong Bonds retreat will help you find a place to start. Our retreat was fairly large, filled with couples with an array of backgrounds. Some were married for three years all the way up to 25 years! While discussing different aspects of marriage, there was varied input.
The program used by our chaplains was The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (there is a military version you can purchase here, which includes a free e-book) and The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman (check it out here). The science and psychology behind both of these books is pretty fascinating, but both provide guidance and tools to ensure you and your spouse are connecting and communicating effectively.
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