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Writer's pictureSarah Peachey

A Letter To My Tribe

"Find your tribe."


It's one of the first things I heard when becoming a military spouse.


But what does that mean?


In anthropology, a tribe is defined as a human social group. But more in depth, a tribe is almost a subculture of a group of people.


For the longest time, I thought "finding your tribe" meant finding dear friends who would accept me as I am. But as I prepare to leave this place I've called home for the last three years, I realize it's much more than that.


You see, I've made close friends ever since I married my soldier and became a military spouse 10 years ago. I felt the loneliness and sadness that comes with being on my own, my soldier spouse out in the field, away for training, or deployed. I knew it was important to find friends, but I now realize that it isn't the number of friendships that matter as much as the caliber of those friendships.


As an introvert, it's sometimes hard to cultivate those relationships. It's intimidating to be in a large, rowdy group and open up enough to share details about my life. But you, the members of my tribe, were patient, offering to meet for coffee or to pop over to my house for a drink and a chat. You eased me out into your world and made me feel at home.


As our friendships progressed, you've spent holidays, birthdays, and even unplanned Friday nights with my family and me. You've lavished my children with gifts on their special days. You've brought sweet treats and savory goodness to celebrate a holiday: cookies at Christmas, rice crispies at Halloween, egg hunts on Easter.


You've celebrated the announcement of new babies with shouts of joy and discussions of nursery themes, and you've grieved the loss of beloved babies with tears of sadness and vows of support. You've dropped everything to be there after the death of a parent, responding with a hug and a "What can I do?"


You've planned trips with me, helping me cross off major bucket list items, taking in the miraculous sights in just as awed of a manner as me, and selecting a few trinkets to take back home as a lasting memory of our shared experience.


You've given me insight into marriage, relationships, extended family dualities, raising children. The good and the bad.


Read more at armywifenetwork.com.

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